Sure, I could. But do I want to?
This is a question we ask too infrequently, in my opinion.
It’s also, in part, what led me to change jobs last year. I had been working hard, grinding for so long, and one day I just woke up and wondered, am I happy? Is this what I want to be doing with my life? Am I giving my best attention to my kids, where I most want to be investing right now?
Life is but a vapor, after all. Sometimes I think we don’t take that seriously enough. We get one shot at this ever-evaporating lifetime. Decisions matter. Staying in a relationship or a job or a bad situation because of sunk cost fallacy isn’t a thing when you realize we only get ten decades (at most) here.
This Psalm comes to mind: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12
What’s interesting is I’ve heard a few celebrities wrestle with this concept, too. As a culture, we often hold famous people in the highest regard, wrongly thinking that to have ‘everything’ must equate to the happiest, most fulfilled lifestyle. It’s a goal many of us hold secretly in our hearts. If not to be famous, to be wealthy. To have it all.
Here are a few interesting examples of different celebrities musing about this concept.
1. Several years back, I read Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey. Super entertaining and fascinating read about his life and what got him to this point. He’s kind of an out-there guy at times, but he’s a deep thinker and has a strong internal compass.
At one point in his book, he was talking about when he first started to make it big. He had a new place, a new maid who cooked and cleaned, and brand-new acting gigs. He was officially big time.
He raved to a friend, “[My maid] even presses my jeans!” He held up his Levi’s to show the crisp starchy line.
The friend smiled, then said: “That’s great, Matthew, if you want your jeans pressed.”
“I’d never had my jeans pressed before,” he writes. “I’d never had anyone to press my jeans before. I’d never thought to ask myself if I wanted my jeans pressed … Of course I wanted my jeans pressed. Or did I?
“No, actually. I didn’t.”
Crazy, isn’t it? How we often just go along with things without ever stopping to wonder.
Here’s another example:
2. More recently, I heard an interview with Olivia Dean, a singer/songwriter I really enjoy. She said this:
“No, it’s really weird. I typed into ChatGPT because I was curious: ‘Write me an Olivia Dean song.’ It was bizarre. Like the tone of voice was kind of right, but it lacked the specificity of life experience. But the tone was kind of right.
And I was like… oh… Well, I would never use this because I like writing songs. Do you know what I mean? I like writing songs. You wouldn’t say hey, AI, do me a painting if you’re a painter because you enjoy having the brush in your hand. That’s what you want to use your brain for.”
(If you wanna listen, here’s a link! scrubbed to that part of the conversation.)
It was striking to me because so much content these days is fully AI. Olivia stopped to ask – do I even want to be creating content this way? For the love of my craft? Such a good question.
Okay, last one.
3. Hilary Duff was invited to a commencement ceremony semi recently. In her speech, she told the grads, Do not say yes to every opportunity just because you can. Link here.
Alright, what’s my point? There’s a throughline here. Life is so fleeting; we can hardly even comprehend it while we’re busy living in the trenches of the day-to-day.
Here it is, straight from the Bible: “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James 4:14
Just a little vapor–that’s what this life is. It’s so worth it to pause and ask yourself about what you want, what you don’t, what you like, what you don’t. All of these things are not net-neutral to our souls. These choices are forming us all the time, helping us grow toward or away from Jesus every day, every hour.
In case you want to, I wrote a couple questions you could chew on. Maybe with your spouse, maybe independently.
- Are my friendships making me feel worse, or better about myself?
- Am I satisfied and fulfilled with how I’m showing up as a parent?
- How’s my contentment with our current lifestyle?
- Do I like my life? If not, what do I need to do to change it?
- Am I on a corporate ladder I never even wanted to climb?
- Is there anything I want to change about how I’m parenting? Or what I’ve allowed in my marriage?
- Am I giving attention to the things I want to be giving attention to?
- Am I using the abilities that make me feel the very most alive?
- What’s something I should say no to?
It’s worth taking inventory.
Do you even want your jeans pressed? Do you want to be using AI for the craft you love? Does saying yes to the newest opportunity actually bring you closer to what you want most?
The biggest question underneath all of it: are you spending your life in a way that honors Jesus?
I’m always asking myself the same. 🤍
With you in progress.
Alyssa
