Where my puzzlers at? ✋🧩
My family did a lot of puzzles growing up, and then for some reason I kinda just forgot they existed. Recently, I felt the urge to start something relaxing that I could lose myself in, and on a whim, I bought a puzzle (plus a puzzle table since we don’t have a good surface in our house for puzzling!). I told Jake, “I need a hobby I can’t monetize,” and if that isn’t the most Enneagram 3 thing I’ve said, I don’t know what is.
Shout out to Erin, btw, for being my ultimate puzzle hype queen. Highly recommend having a friend who encourages you to send puzzle progress pics.
You might laugh, but as I’ve gotten into it, I realized how many metaphors are hidden in puzzling. There’s actually so much depth to it.
First of all, in the beginning, there’s nothing but chaos. No order, no sense. (Metaphor #1.) When you start the puzzle, you have to decide your strategy from the get-go, or nothing will ever happen. Most people seem to begin by sorting all the border pieces, which takes a while because they live in a sea of 1,000 other little pieces, but creates an outline on which to build.
Eventually, the skeleton comes together, and you have a foundation.
Then, what made sense to me was to sort by color. The puzzle I did had florals, skin tones, a dalmatian, and leaves, so I had four major categories. From there, I just picked a target area of the puzzle and… committed to solving it. (By the way, I learned there are apparently a lot of strategies to puzzle solving.)
So here’s metaphor #2: As I got going, I realized something. You really do have to commit. Puzzles can be so distracting. You’re looking for a specific piece, and then your eyes see another piece somewhere else, and your mind is tempted to change course. You’d rather focus on the new direction instead of keeping your commitment to solving the old.
It made me think of parenting.
With kids, you can’t teach them everything overnight. (Or maybe you’ve figured out the cheat code. We haven’t.) For us, it doesn’t really work to solve for more than one behavioral correction at a time; if you work on everything at once, you work on nothing at all. Instead, it’s a steady, gradual process. You have to commit and then stay consistent until they grasp the concept. (For example, we’re teaching our oldest how to respond when she’s angry or frustrated. Spoiler: Coping via temper tantrum isn’t what we’re recommending to her.)
And honestly, this [the little-by-little principle] is true for our souls, too. Formation rarely happens in big sweeping changes. More often, it’s one small habit, one repeated choice, one faithful piece at a time.
Something else that occurred to me when I was working on my puzzle (Metaphor #3): sure–I could let my attention wander all over the puzzle the whole time, but I’d be far less effective that way. Reminds me of Eugene Peterson’s, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. Check out this killer quote:
There is a great market for religious experience in our world; there is little enthusiasm for the patient acquisition of virtue, little inclination to sign up for a long apprenticeship in what earlier generations of Christians called holiness. Religion in our time has been captured by the tourist mindset. Religion is understood as a visit to an attractive site to be made when we have adequate leisure.
In other words, it takes commitment to show back up, day after day, for the same Jesus, the same devotion, the same mission. Despite the same missteps we constantly make. Peterson calls it a patient acquisition – and that’s it. It takes a long time to become like Jesus. To grow in holiness.
So, sure, maybe it would be more fun to let my mind wander on the puzzle. To be a tourist, like Peterson called it. But I kind of enjoy the metaphor of a long obedience in the same direction, even as it relates to puzzling. When you choose to be disciplined and committed to something, piece by piece, color by color, day by day… You see progress.
One last puzzle musing and then I’ll stop, I swear. When I started it, I’m ashamed to admit there were several moments (particularly toward the beginning) when I thought, I picked a really hard puzzle to start with. I may not be able to figure this one out. It would so sad to have to bail on a puzzle I just started.
Self-doubt on full. Isn’t it funny how our minds do that to us? Metaphor #4.
A long time ago, I heard a speaker give this remark, and it’s always stuck with me: When is the last time you truly committed to something that you didn’t eventually accomplish?
Maybe it’s not true for everyone, but for me, he had a point. When I fully set my mind to something, it’s going to eventually happen. It just requires a long obedience in the same direction.
Whenever I’m feeling worried about something I need to do, an appointment I need to attend, a conversation I need to have, etc., I say this little mantra to myself: I’ve made it through 100% of everything else so far.
Serves as a little confidence jolt. The age-old “this too shall pass.”
You’ve made it this far. No matter what you’re going through in marriage, parenting, or just generally your walk with Jesus, I’d encourage you: all you need to do today is find the next puzzle piece. You don’t have to solve for the whole thing.
At the beginning, every puzzle looks like chaos. But piece by piece, the beautiful, bigger picture gets a little clearer.
Today’s job isn’t the whole puzzle. That will come with time. Today’s invitation is simply the next piece.
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In Progress,
Alyssa
P.S. I shared in my email newsletter that Jake and I have a trip coming up soon to Seaside, FL, and I’m getting so excited. It’s a family favorite spot, and we haven’t been there in a few years. (It got me thinking – I’m curious where your family most often vacations? If you have a regular fav location and follow me on Substack, reply in the comments!)
